Tender Heart: Herbal Aids for Self-Compassion

"If you can't love yourself, how in the hell can you love somebody else" - RuPaul

What if you could cultivate feelings of warmth, tenderness, and compassion towards yourself?


Do you find yourself giving to others before thinking of yourself? Do you struggle to find time to self care between work, family, and loved ones? Self compassion is a way to shape your destiny, embrace your gifts, and acknowledge all the ways in which the world needs you. It may seem like a challenge, especially in the face of all the hardship the world is experiencing right now, but changing your perspective of self care and starting to increase your self compassion is a way to benefit both yourself and the world around you.


This isn’t just a nice thing to do. It helps you to see your own potential and move toward it. It helps you to see suffering in others and respond with love instead of fear. It allows you to be at peace with who you are.


This is the work of self-compassion, and it starts by changing the beliefs we have about ourselves. While this may seem challenging, herbal allies can help us to cultivate feelings of self-compassion. Today we’ll discuss three herbs that encourage us on our journey towards self-compassion: hawthorn, motherwort, and milky oats.


Self-compassion is a topic that is often overlooked in our society, but it is so important to remember that we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. Self compassion may seem like a huge shift to make, but start small! A cup of herbal tea, a warm bath, or simply giving yourself a hug are all great ways to begin to incorporate self compassion into your day.


When you are self-compassionate, you are able to be present with your own suffering and not feel the need to rush past it or try to avoid it. You begin to see that your flaws and mistakes are not unique nor do they define you as a person. You can begin to feel more open, loving and accepting toward yourself.


If you find yourself struggling with opening up to self-compassion, here are some herbal allies that may help:


Hawthorn for the Heart


Hawthorn is one of the most well-known heart herbs for good reason: it is incredibly effective at soothing tension in the circulatory system. This makes hawthorn ideal for people who feel anxiety in their chest or heart area but may also find themselves clenching their jaw or tensing their shoulders when worried or stressed out. Hawthorn can soothe physical tension in these areas as well. Try a few drops of the Hedge Tonic in a cup of rose tea every morning and see how it shifts your self compassion.




If you tend to get frazzled quickly under stress, ashwagandha may help calm your nervous system and lower your cortisol levels (your stress hormone). It has been found in research studies to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Ashwagandha can also help replenish your energy reserves if you tend to feel depleted under stress. Unwind in the evening with a sweet cup of drinking chocolate infused with Ashwagandha.




Along with being a well-known calming herb, chamomile may also help those with grief. In one study, researchers found that drinking chamomile tea for two weeks had a positive effect on mood for those who were grieving. You can use chamomile to make an herbal tea or compress, or add it to skin care recipes. Our Overworked Massage oil is infused with dried chamomile! This oil is perfect for a moisturizing self massage.




This plant from the chrysanthemum family is a traditional love medicine that strengthens the heart while providing an earthy, sensual base note to any blend. Damiana is grow as a perennial shrub in tropical areas but can also be cultivated in colder climates as an annual or houseplant. It's often used in herbal smoking blends designed to heighten passion and sensuality, so it's a great addition to blends for self-compassion and self-love. Damiana is a featured ingredient in our Motion Potion Vulva Oil.

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